This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
