JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
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