I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
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