We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Randomize
