we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
