Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
