I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Where are you?
In a non slutty way
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
