Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
