Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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