I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize