Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
