They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize