STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Randomize
