This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
