guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
