Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Randomize
