It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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