Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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