Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
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The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
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This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
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