why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
