going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
