I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
