FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
