I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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