Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
How's work?
Spinning.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
