question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
