How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
