We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
