im six kinds of drunk right now
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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