he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
