Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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