you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Randomize
