I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize