Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Randomize
