The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
