Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
