the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
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