He disabled his match.com account in front of me
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
