They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
