ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
