You really coming over, don't trick.
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
