not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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