I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
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