Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
