Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
