i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Less talking, more tequila
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
