Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Another day, another engagement, another cat
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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