I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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