I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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