Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I understand Curling. That high.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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