Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
