If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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