its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
