Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
A+ Viking dick
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
