Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Randomize
