OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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