Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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