yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
Randomize
