from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Randomize
