it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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