College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
