Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
