and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
