It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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