So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Randomize
