you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
