420 ftw
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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