Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
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