i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
this hospital has no fireball
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
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